The Ugly Side of Poker

"The Definition of Insanity is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results."
-Albert Einstein


The truth about poker is this. The road to glory is filled with degenerates and burnouts. The reason is this fucking game can drive a normal man insane. The best players in the world can have 2 or 3 losing months in a row. You can’t imagine the emotional toll losing for 2 months straight can take on someone. It’s a constant drag. Everyday you wake up and go to your job and give it everything you have, you play your best and you still leave with less than you came with. Whether it’s $5 or $5,000, losing fucking hurts. I hate it. We all hate it. Poker is also a predatory game. It’s a dog eat dog world. Ego has destroyed countless bankrolls (it hasn’t helped mine either.) Just like losing for 2 months can tear a person up. The opposite is equally as dangerous. When a poker player is on a heater (long winning streak), it is like they are invincible. The problem is they begin to believe they are the best, when the honest truth is they are probably playing good, but more importantly running better (the cards are just breaking their way.) This leads to the player taking shots at higher levels. If they normally play 20-40, but have been winning for 3 months in a row, they might move up to 50-100, or 100-200. In one week it is possible to lose 3 months of hard work. It’s sort of like a little story Doyle Brunson relays about one of his old adversary’s who was always broke. Someone came up to Doyle and said “What the heck, why is Johnnie always broke, I thought he was the 8th best poker player in the world?“ Doyle nodded and agreed, and said, “That’s right he is the 8th best player in the world, but he plays against the 7 best.“ My most recent entry talked about the joy of winning. This will be about the gut churning feeling about losing.

For the first time in my life I have no desire to be a professional card player. Spending the last 3 weeks in Vegas has taken a toll on me physically and mentally. More importantly though, it has given me an idea of what playing as a live (vs. online) professional would be life. It would be miserable. I had been to the Bellagio a few times since I’ve been to Vegas and thought it would be impossible for me to have a big loss there. Well it’s not. Some time last week (don’t remember the day), I went there and spent 9 fucking hours folding, folding, and folding some more. Over the course of 9 hours, I only took 6 hands to showdown. The straw that broke the camel’s back was when I picked up AA in the big blind. Finally, I thought, all this folding is finally gonna pay off. The player under the gun raised (perfect!! I am getting some action and clearing the field) Then something unexpected happens, the old rich fish in the small blind 3 bets, he hasn’t done anything like this all day. I 4 bet, and UTG caps the pot (It’s a 5 bet cap in Vegas.) The flop comes K 10 5, and the old man bets, I raise and the other guy folds. The turn brings a second 5, which essentially makes it impossible for me to lose because I have 2 pair aces and 5’s. Even if the old man pairs his 2nd card, he will only have a lower 2 pair (for example Kings and Queens.) The only card that could fuck me now, is one of the last 2 Kings in the deck. Well of course the king hit’s the river and it’s good game Tommy2tyme. The old man had KJ offsuit and takes down the monster pot. I played for about 10 more minutes then got up and left. Somehow I lost $1,800 playing in a game I should have crushed. This was the beginning of a rough few days.
The type of person cut out for this profession (in addition to having the talent), is one with a lot of self-discipline. The kind of person that has complete control over their actions. While you need talent, having self-discipline is more important. I have very strong will power, but once I’ve been beaten down enough times, I accept it and thrive on it. I am very good at turning a losing streak into a monumental disaster. Whether it’s sports betting, getting tilted up and playing too many hands, or playing while tired, I’ve been good at all 3 at one point or another. My buddy Jared on the other hand has a shitload of self discipline. I can’t even get the kid to play $100 of blackjack with me. He also displays great discipline while playing poker. There are many times in limit hold em where the decision is close, but folding is probably the better option than calling. I (along with 90% of the other players) make this call, while Jared can fold it. There are definitely benefits to calling, if you hit you can tilt up your opponent and make him play worse vs. you in future pots, but in the long run folding is the better option.

Since being here I have seen everything. So many of the famous poker players are broke, and playing the tournaments on a stake from another player. On the same token, I have met other online poker kids who I thought would have a shit load in the bank, and they are playing with their last $10,000 while out here. It’s really been sad. On the flip side of the coin, my roommate Jared, and Greg (Wild Duck) have tons of money in the bank and have real success. What separates these 2 groups? The busto players are equally as talented as the robusto players, but they have leaks. What are these leaks? I’ve talked about a lot of them already. They are sports betting, blackjacks, strippers, hookers, drugs, clubbing, video poker, using bad bank roll management, spending big on frivolous items. In moderation, any of these things are fine. The problem is, most poker players have degenerate tendencies. It’s what allows them to play poker for thousands, and not feel weird about it. The same skill that allows them to make money, is ultimately their demise. Poker players with discipline are few and far between, but at the end of the day only 3 types of poker players have a lot of money in the bank. First, the best players in the world, if you work hard enough and are blessed enough to literally be the best at what you do, you will have a lot of money in the bank (While I consider myself to be a world class limit hold em player, I am certainly not the best.) The second type, are the people that get lucky and win a huge tournament (I hope for this to be me and have had some success in the past.) The third are the one’s with discipline. This is the group I strive to be in. The one’s that realize the stakes they can beat and the one’s they can’t. The people that don’t bet thousands of dollars on sporting events, who don’t play thousand dollar hands of blackjack. These are all easy things to do when you are motivated to do them. It’s when the motivation slips and you get mentally weak that these things come into play.

Alright, one more paragraph of this grief and no more for the remainder of the blog. But I think it’s cool to give people a true look at what a poker player goes through both good and bad. I’ve made and lost shitloads playing this game. More money than I could have ever imagined 4 years ago. So I’ll tell you about the shittiest poker experience I have ever had in my life. This isn’t the most money I have lost in a day, but easily the most depressing day.

I got home Saturday night (Sunday morning) at 6 am. It was Tony’s last night in town, so we ended it at the place every Vegas weekend seems to end ;-). Anyway, Sunday at noon was the $1,500 limit shootout, the last event before the main event. Limit hold em is my expertise and the shootout format definitely plays into my hands. The shootout format means, each table plays from 10 players down to 1, with the winner advancing to a 2nd table. If you win the second table you are at the final table. I have an advantage because most players have no experience in shorthanded limit hold em, while I play it everyday of my life. I rolled out of bed at 11 am, on 5 drunken hours of sleep. I hopped in the shower, mumbled something to Tony about having a good time, grabbed an unopened box of Cheerios, and headed to the lobby to get a cab. Unfortunately, the cab took 20 minutes to arrive and I was 15 minutes late to the tournament. I sat at my table and looked around. Everyone was 40+ (a great sign) and I recognized no one. 2 hours into play I had doubled my chips from 3,000 to 6,000 and it was clear that there was only one other competent player at the table. By 4 o’clock Vegas time, I knew I was going to win this table. The table had 4 players remaining and I had about 50% of the chips in play at the table. My only concern was that the competent player still remained and was in 2nd place. Another player was eliminated, and we headed to a 20 minute break. At this point there is 3 players. Hero (me) with approx. 16,500, Competent villain with about 9,000, and Nitty Villain with 4,000. The 20 minute break is an awkward thing. Too short to get a real meal or something, but too long to just run to the bathroom, I end up standing around bored. Anyways, I took a piss, called my Dad, texted Bobby, B Corn, and Sox Nation and then awkwardly walked around the Amazon room waiting for the break to end. I was already having visions of myself at the final table. When I win the first table the prize is $5,100, and if I can just win one more table I will be at the final table playing for a bracelet. Finally, the match starts back up. Nitty Villain says something along the lines of “I’m not even going to take my sandals off and get comfortable,” a reference to the fact that he has $4,000 chips left and little to no chance. Well we all know what happens next. Nitty Villain goes on the rush of his life, and eliminates Competent Villain. This is great for me, because now it Shorthanded Limit Hold em professionaly Tom Solomon with $19,000 in chips vs. Nitty Villain who has honestly probably never played a hand of heads up limit hold em in his life with $9,000. If we play this match 100 times with those stack sizes, I win 85 to 90 times.

This guy is limping the button when I have the big blind (literally the best thing ever for me.) He is clueless, but of course the deck couldn’t hit him any harder. When we got to heads up, we were one of only 4 or 5 tables at that point. When we finished only 5 of the 80 tables were still going. The heads up match lasted over 4 hours. Twice this card rack had me all in, I fought all the way back to the chip lead before another 20 minute break killed my momentum. Long story short, Nitty Villain had Aces 3 times, flopping a set once. He flopped the nuts on 3 other hands where I had second pair or better. He cracked my kings both times I had them, once with trips and once with an A high flop. And worst of all, he cracked my flopped nuts with 77, on a 732 board, by going runner runner flush with J5 of diamonds. He finally eliminated me when my 22 was no match for his 95. I have never been so sick in my life. I honestly wanted to cry. It felt like getting punched in the gut. Here I am, about to get my first cash in a WSOP event, in my best game, with the best format for me and some old man who has no clue what he is doing literally rips my dreams our from right under my chair. I literally played perfect the entire time heads up. I never tilted and stole tons of pots. This guy could not miss though, and at the end of the day the cards talked and Nitty Villain would advance. Gross! I literally felt sick leaving. I think at this moment I knew I was burnt out. What happened next hurt a lot more financially but not nearly as bad emotionally. I went back to our Condo and lost $7,000 playing on Bodog. It was brutal, the games were good, but like I said, at the end of the day the cards talk. Things broke against me, I started tilting, it sucked. All in all, it was like losing $12,000, the $5,000 I should have won (with the possibility of more) + $7,000 I actually lost. It was not easy sleeping that night!!!!

Random Thoughts

-I have some fun stories coming soon. I will probably post tomorrow, I was gonna put it at the end of this one, but it got too long.

-I met a girl from Michigan out here and got her number, she’ll probably come out with us tonight.

-Jared’s girlfriend Lindsay is here, but his girl friend Jenna is also here. A solid 8 to 9, she’s also a fire cracker. Think Jackie Dombrowski (personality not looks) on uppers. She just got here last night. Things might get interesting.

-I want to give a shout out to Andrew Tymrak at his request

-I have never been in such bad physical health in my life. I need to stop going out, and start sleeping more. Unfortunately, the Bodog party is tonight. It is being held at some 50,000 square foot penthouse suite at the Palms. Apparently this place has a full size B-ball court, and countless stripper poles.

-The day after I lost this money I went to the Rio to play a $325 satellite, it was still too soon. I bluffed off all of my chips on the 5th hand of play. I was not ready to play this fucking game again and should have never tried.

-I picked up my gear from Bodog! It is sweet. I have 3 t-shirts, a sweatshirt, 2 hats, a water bottle, a chip protector, and an 8.1 mega pixel Samsung digital camera!! All in a Bodog duffel bag. I am psyched.